The Report Card's In

Oh, you know, I thought I'd comment on our recent ratings review over at Drunk Jays Fans. You know what they say, any publicity is positive publicity, especially from a review like the following. Looks like we have a market to cater to, a business student might know that, eh Stoeten?

John McDonald's Cabinet - D

Fratboy #1: Hey dude, let's get wasted and head to the game.

Fratboy #2: Totally dude, let me just finish this finish this blog post.

Fratboy #1: Fuck dude!

I couldn't agree more, except fratboys are gay, my roommate is one.

A quick glance at JMC's large roster of writers reminds me of university and living with five dudes in a huge house. One time we soaked a stack of bricks in lighter fluid and lit them on fire in the front lawn while others tossed bricks from the balcony trying to knock down the tower of flaming bricks.

Okay, well only two of us regularly contribute, but it's nice to have a larger staff, don't you think?

We thought we were hilariously original. Truth be told, any prank or crazy idea we could've possibly come up with had been done before . . . many, many times before.

We are hilariously original- and we will be launching a marketing campaign.

While reading JMC, I can't help but whisper to myself, "Been there, done that."

Yeah man, we're in university, but we'll be doing bigger things soon enough.

Thank You Very Much.

WE JUST CAN'T BE SO OPTIMISTIC ABOUT JESSE LITSCH AND DUSTIN MCGOWAN

Reliable sources have indicated that Jesse Litsch and Dustin McGowan despite having been injured for months and months are not really on schedule to break Spring Training with the team.

Even though the Jays have like 19 credible arms that they hope to catch lightning in a bottle with, it's never good when all of them are so young that the guys who lead the team with the most major league experience are the ones still in the infirminary ward!

Scott Richmond was profiled on TSN and spoke about how they would have to make up for the loss of the great Roy Halladay- and he said it would be tough but he's seen it done before in his many professional years of baseball, and if the pitching can keep Toronto in games, Toronto has a chance of winning the game every night. Halladay probably only contributed to an extra 5-10 wins a season, so a combined effort could certainly make up for that.

Toronto's rotation looks much like Tampa's in 2008- you've got sophomore Ricky Romero who could win 15 games, Ace Shaun Marcum who has proven he could win 15 games too, and if you had five guys who all won 10 games or more, I think you'd have a rotation that could compete in a very difficult American League East- Cecil, Richmond and Rez certainly seem capable of doing such.

If anything, maybe McGowan or Litsch can be great fill-ins when one of the fab five get injured.

SOMEONE BASHED THE ROGERS CENTRE, BUT NOT SKYDOME..

One COMPLAINS:

The worst thing about the place is the fans.

They do the wave in the 8th inning, with the tying run on base. People actually go just to do the fucking wave.

There's the 19 year old morons who are getting their first taste of alcohol and a crowd that turn it to shit, with ridiculous brawls or throwing shit at the Tigers.

There's the fratboy fucks in Red Sox hats to see a Jays vs. Royals game.

There's douchebags in suits on discount night who leave after 3 innings saying "maybe next time we can stay for 5"

There's the morons who get more excited over a free sample of nicotine gum, or a free lottery ticket, or a fucking bucket of wings then anything that happens on the field.

My favourite fantard in the place was a drunk gentleman at a day game a couple years ago. Lyle Overbay just stepped up to the plate and the guy's started screaming this:
"Lyle will get a hit because he's Lyle and he has a huge penis. He calls it little Lyle...."
After about 4 more minutes of going on about Lyle Overbay's dong at the top of his lungs someone from guest services magically appeared and whisked him away, while on his way up the ramp he turned to her and said:
 "What do you think about Lyle Overbay's penis?"

Jeff Blair, I don't like the tittle of your baseball article.

Yeah, let's introduce the Designated Hitter to the National League. Why don't we make American League Pitchers hit? Maybe that would lead to less brutal American League injuries. The American League has led the last ten seasons in injuries/players versus the National League. Could this be because the American League has the designated hitter who is usually old and crumbling down physically? The National League makes their pitchers, run, hit, and bunt and they play the game freely and as hard as possible. The National League as a result has wilder outcomes and generally wackier games while the American League reflects the steadfast beat of the Northeast, let's get 'er done and go home and get to sleep and do the traditional things that have been getting us through every year for decades.

I'm in Toronto becoming a Westerner. I just cannot believe that people from the central to east have become this way. I like the wide open west. Look at how teams like New Orleans and Arizona played in football. Just wide-open football. And everyone loved it.

So hey, let the American League Pitcher hit. Roy Halladay, the best pitcher in the major leagues the last seven seasons will now be forced to hit in the NL, what a dream. Santana now hits. Lowe now hits. It's not a big deal. It's good that baseball has variety because baseball has always been a very quirky game, and that's what keeps people interested: the quirks.

So hey, let's keep things the way they are which is an eastern way of doing things, but look at the predicted outcome, a wild wild wild west outcome. And that's something that'll keep satisfying the western-leaners in an eastern-leaning town like Toronto.

BUCK MARTINEZ and The Top Canadians In Baseball

Man, Buck Martinez is returning to do play-by-play for Jays games on Rogers Sportsnet! I realize this was announced a month ago, but man am I ever excited! I remember the good old days when Dan Schulman and Buck Martinez did the play by play in the few years after the World Series wins. Pat Tabler and Buck Martinez, certainly both not famous major leaguers during their careers have gone on to have very successful broadcasting careers. Tabler remains one of the most colorful announcers in baseball, and he basically had to teach a student of the game in Jamie Campbell for the last number of years. It should be no wonder or surprise that Tabler has done less and less games over the years considering who he had to sit beside on a regular basis.

Buck Martinez on the other hand went on to unsucessfully manage the Toronto Blue Jays for one season and was fired at the end of it. You would have thought that Buck might have made the perfect fit from an outside perspective considering that he understood what the fans wanted, what the players wanted having had played in the major leagues, and having been on the other side of the ropes in the media, too. Martinez went on to become a major baseball broadcaster with ESPN, and alongside his former co-broadcaster Dan Schulman.

While Tabler's contract is up, along with the brutal Rance Mulliniks, and former catcher Darrin Fletcher, I would strongly advise the Rogers consortium to re-hire Tabler as I think Buck Martinez and Pat Tabler might just make the Jays a hit on Sportsnet once again!

You should thank great baseball-minded Canadians like Paul Beeston for making this happen!

HERE'S A LIST OF THE TOP 100 CANADIANS IN BASEBALL RANKED BY INFLUENCE..
http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Baseball/MLB/2010/01/07/12373406-qmi.html

The Top Ten is an Impressive List that features...
1) Paul Beeston, CEO, Toronto Blue Jays
2) Greg Hamilton,  Baseball Canada
3) Alex Anthopoulos, Jays GM
4) Doug Melvin, Brewers GM
5) Pat Gillick, Senior Advisor to the Phillies
6) Justin Morneau, Minnesota Twins 1B
7) Tony Viner, President, Rogers Media
8) Dan Shulman, Broadcaster, ESPN
9) Keli McGregor, President, Colorado Rockies
10) The Great Jerry Howarth, Broadcaster, Toronto Blue Jays.

OH, YOU KNOW, IT'S SATURDAY...WE CAN DREAM...

With a new kid on the block running things, it looks like an old kid in Zack Johnson has returned, and a new kid in Aroldis Chapman may be choosing between just the Toronto Blue Jays and the Angels.....

Seriously, would you stop tantalizing the Cabinet? We're about to erupt in applause like they do in Parliament. I forgot though, Parliament is prorogued....it's not like AA ever takes a break, Harper...

"Rogers is willing to invest a lot of money into the future" 

INDEED!

Oh man, what a season it might be, eh?

INSIDER: THE JOHN HIRSHBECK STORY: IT'S A WONDER ROBBIE GOT ALL THE BLAME AND MISSED THE HALL OF FAME

 *RE-POSTED FROM JULY 3RD, 2009*
First of all, though, we need to visit the career of umpire John Hirshbeck.....


Just like Strombopolous on "The Hour" I'm going to give you the run down:
- Hirshbeck has been a major league umpire since since 1984, a career that has spanned just over 25 major league seasons!
- Towards the end of his 16-year tenure as strictly an American League Umpire, it was only then that Hirshbeck would become the subject of controversy in a game between the Blue Jays and Orioles between himself and former Blue Jay standout Roberto Alomar:

Hirschbeck came to be widely known for an on-the field incident on September 27, 1996 in Toronto when Baltimore Oriole Roberto Alomar got into a heated, two-way argument with Hirschbeck over a called third strike that Alomar alleged was outside the strike zone.

This wasn't just any arugment, though.

"Hirschbeck then ejected Alomar from the game, and Alomar spit in Hirschbeck's face, claiming that the umpire had used a degrading ethnic slur against him. Lip readers contend that Hirschbeck called Alomar "a faggot" as Alomar was walking away.^[1] Alomar, and other players, claimed that Hirschbeck's personality had changed, and that he had been on the edge and extremely bitter since the death of his son from adrenoleukodystrophy (ALD), and learning that another son also had it. The day after the incident, after hearing Alomar's remarks, Hirschbeck charged into the Orioles' clubhouse and had to be restrained by a fellow umpire. Alomar was suspended for five games and required to donate $50,000 to ALD research. One week later, on October 5, Hirschbeck said he had forgiven Alomar for the incident." (Wikipedia)

Although the two did make amends in a game on April 22nd, 1997 in Baltimore publicly, the sting of the incident had continued to live on- many blamed Robbie Alomar, but it seemed like from lip readers all over America that it was Hirshbeck to be blamed, and not the terrible treatment that Alomar had endured for spitting in an umpire's face for the rest of his likely hall-of-fame career that saw him vault to the Blue Jays Wall of Excellence.

Hirshbeck, now a 13-year veteran was now under the lights of scrutiny by Major League Baseball, and the controversy wouldn't end there. In 2002, Major League Baseball wrote a letter to Hirshbeck stating that he had a high percentage of missed balls and strikes. Perhaps the umpire who had been in service for almost 20 years was losing the ability to call a proper game, or for good measure, he was not of the most professional calibre. Unfortunately, there was a union behind Hirshbeck's job, and Major League Baseball, in 2002, still weary of the 1994 players strike, obviously couldn't pursue the matter to the highest degree possible.

Hirshbeck would strike controversy yet again in that 2002 season when he told umpire Mark Carlson not to issue a warning to Cincinnati Reds' pitcher Gabe White after throwing a baseball over the head of Juiced Slugger Barry Bonds. Jose Canseco once wrote that certain umpires wouldn't give you the light of day, certain ones just absolutely hated you and would make bad calls on purpose...

Although the incidents were years apart and one had to understand the nature of what Hirshbeck had been going through back in the mid-'90s it was no suprise to anyone that he had come up on a short list of umpires who missed a large amount of balls and strikes.

And blown calls once again were particularly evident in a game between the Toronto Blue Jays and the New York Yankees in which Hirshbeck blew at least seven calls, including missing the play that drilled Lyle Overbay in the foot, and then not giving A.J. Burnett strike three on a fastball that was blatantly straight down the middle. At this point you had to wonder if this was Hirshbeck's way of making it up to Overbay that he had blown the call. Later on in the game, a close play at the plate revealed that Texiara had indeed slid in safely despite Hirshbeck's "out" call, and A.J. Burnett was given far too large of an outside corner at times to work with. This was especially noticeable when Brian Tallet literally got no calls whatsoever at critical moments in the ball game on the outside corner himself.

Given Hirshbeck's storied 25-year major league career, this blogger has to suggest that perhaps John Hirshbeck is still a culprit of routinely blowing calls as a home plate umpire at the very least. It's tough to knock down a Major League crew chief, though.

A hard knock at the very least this is, but this will be ongoing- is John Hirshbeck becoming too unfit to umpire? Canseco once said something along the words that the Minor League Umpires will do everything they can to call the game right, but when they get up to the big league level, after a certain number of years, they feel like they have the power to influence a game....and that's not right, even if it is natural to happen.

Alot of players talk to Hirshbeck during the game, and that's just a little bit interesting too...is Hirshbeck distracting himself?

Maybe this is all ridiculous, maybe it is, but I wonder, Hirshbeck is almost 55 years old, and I know that's not very old for a man, but middle-aged men don't change much, that I know. He's probably the same umpire he was in 2002 when he was warned for missing so many calls behind the plate...

But then again, in Hirshbeck's words:

"Some guys have a tighter strike zone, but if the ball is over the plate at the right height, that's a strike no matter who you are," Hirschbeck said. "Up and down, the same thing. Some guys are a little tighter. They want that ball, in their minds, to be right on the plate. 'Other guys say that if it nicks the corner, that's good enough for me..."

The umpiring styles vary, I guess, but still, maybe, and just maybe John Hirshbeck should be under an "umpire watch". We'll see how he performs for the rest of the series. Twenty-five years in the bigs- the man's gotta feel just a tad too comfortable.

ROBBIE ALOMAR NARROWLY MISSES HALL OF FAME...

Like many other baseball writers in the haven we call baseball north here in Canada I thought Robbie Alomar was a shoo-in for the Hall of Fame. I had an outline of a post prepared that related both back to my childhood, to walkoff memories, to defensive gems, and to World Series wins.

But then I was given the gut-wrenching news this afternoon that Robbie missed by a mere 8 votes. I guess eight too many seasons baseball writers spent wondering why Alomar could have disgraced himself so badly in front of a reputable umpire like John Hirshbeck. But Was Hirshbeck Unfit to Umpire? Click on that link.

Maybe it was the deniably false story about Robbie Alomar having given AIDS to a young woman, much like Ben Roethlisberger of the NFL's Pittsburgh Steelers had been accused wrongly of sexual assault. In Robbie's case, maybe there was just a little too much off-field drama, and it was just enough for Robbie to narrowly miss.

Everyone remembers that famous incident with Hirshbeck as the day Alomar spit into Hirshbeck's face, no matter how wrong Hirshbeck could have been for prompting such a reaction, for as I explored earlier this summer, that umpire was not quite in the correct mental state at that point in time due to personal issues.

While it's without question that Alomar will eventually be elected into the Hall of Fame, for no player has ever narrowly missed like Alomar in one year and not made it on the next fourteen years of the ballot. After all, Andre Dawson finally made it on his ninth try, and even though Bert Blevelyn narrowly missed yet again, he never had quite the support of Alomar. Then again, there were twenty six players on the ballot.

Congratulations to Andre Dawson- Defunct Expos fans should all have a drink to toast his induction! Richard Griffin sure will.

Alomar will have his day....

RANDY JOHNSON RETIRES...

 Randy Johnson hangs up the cleats after 22 big league seasons. They say he might be the last man to win 300 games. No, Doc Halladay will be the next.

My favourite Big Unit Memory?

When him and Curt Schilling went down the stretch in the 2001 World Series to beat the Yankees in Seven Games as a member of the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Or, remember this?

MUTTON CHOP POWER!

According to TSN.ca Dustin McGowan is claiming to be ready to finally make his long awaited return to the Blue Jays' rotation to the delight of baseball fans and sideburn enthusiasts everywhere. D-McG (yeah I said it) has been out of action since late 2008 when he tore his labrum and missed all of 2009 rehabbing his arm and injuring his knee in July to set himself back another 6 weeks.

If this report is true, and considering its got direct quotes from McGowan saying he's ready it seems pretty likely then its gonna make spring training just a little bit more interesting as the race to fill out the starting rotation is going to made even more competitive with the presence of mutton chops.

For 5 spots in the rotation there's now 9 guys (McGowan, Romero, Cecil, Rzepczynski, Richmond, Jansenn, Marcum, Morrow, and maybe Purcey) competing for them, 10 if Brian Tallet leaves the bullpen, and 11 down the road if Jesse Litsch returns from his Tommy John surgery during the season. The competition among the pitchers should serve to give everyone enough of a kick in the ass to pitch above their potential, and if nothing else provide enough fodder for speculation to keep people throwing out ridiculous ideas for a better rotation until at least the middle of May.

AA: A man to watch. Stock Grade High.

Today even the Toronto Star labelled GM Alex Anthopoulos a man to watch in 2010.

The Star quotes AA: "I'm not sleeping as – let's call it `as smoothly' – as I did in the past," says Alex Anthopoulos, the new general manager of the Toronto Blue Jays. "My mind is racing."

For anyone who's experienced that mind racing passion when they sleep like I have many times over the last few years, you know there's a burning passion inside of you. For AA, there must be a burning passion unimaginable even to I.

"They want me to hire a personal assistant," Anthopoulos says, sounding unsure. "I mean, I can't imagine anyone bringing me coffee. How would you feel if someone was bringing you coffee?"

AA might just need a personal assistant. Because when the mind races too long....the wheels sometimes fall off when you're tired as hell, man...

AA's gotta stay fresh man! So that the city with a spectacular tower can cheer all year long for these Toronto Blue Jays...

The story even took away from Edwin's embarassing fireworks mishap!

The Significance of the John Buck Signing...

I might be just a little bit late on the ball here, but I wanted to remind all Blue Jay fans who the starting catcher for the 2010 season is: JOHN BUCK.

John Buck has been known to handle a young pitching staff extraordinarly well in the past. The reason the Blue Jays' young starters have performed so well is due to the number of elite catching prospects in the organization. I'm sure AA realized this and went out and got a quality catcher that he really liked with a lot of upside potential.

John Buck may have only played in 59 games last season, but he hit 8 homeruns in those 59 games, and over the course of a 110-game season for an average catcher, Buck could hit nearly 20 in the safe confines of the Rogers Centre!

He'll be no worse or no better than Rod Barajas, perhaps, and that's something we will marvel and revel at in 2010!

Buck will join a long list of sluggers in Toronto that includes Aaron Hill, Adam Lind, Travis Snider, Randy Ruiz, Lyle Overbay, Vernon Wells and Brett Wallace who all have the capability of hitting 20 or more homeruns this season.

After all, Buck's bound to become an instant fan favourite with pictures like those above, eh?

AROLDIS CHAPMAN?!

ESPN has reported that the Blue Jays are the latest of teams to think about signing the flame-throwing 21 year old Cuban hurling defect. There hasn't been this highly touted of a prospect from Cuban baseball since Jose Contreras!

Check out that video if you didn't already click on it. ESPN profiles Chapman in a dasterdly 6:36.