I'm so apathetic

A season like this one can do that to a fanbase, sure I still want the team to win, sure I want to watch baseball, but the pain that watching this year's Toronto Blue Jays causes just makes it difficult to do.

Sure Travis Snider being back in the bigs and not batting 9th brings me very much joy, as does the success of Randy Ruiz, and yet the apathy remains. I watched them put up a 4-spot in the first inning last night, only to turn of the game in favour of watching Jurassic Fight Club on the History Channel before going out.

Especially when I consider myself to be such a huge Blue Jays fan, I've never wavered in my love for this team, I sat through the crap years, I watched the terrible trades, I even pretended to like having to watch Raul Mondesi play right field, I broke Barry Bonds HR record in MVP '05 with Shea Hillenbrand for god's sake, but there's just something about this year that makes it suck more than years past. And yet I was shamed by a checkout man at a Metro store yesterday, who claimed to have eloped last Friday and still somehow managed to watch the game.

Sure we all came into this season with no expectations at all, only to suddenly expect the world from this team, yelling "playoffs" quickly turned into yelling "pennent" and I told all the non-believers questioning me that yes, this is the year where it's gonna happen, only to have to swallow my words come mid-June. I was so sure of this whole thing that my wall calendar for school quickly turned into a 3' x 2' Jays schedule, keeping track of the record until the middle of July, now it just stares at me as a reminder of what could have been.

The only therapy to this season is sobbing while playing HR Pinball on the Bigs 2 as GBOAT.